August 16th, 2010: It's been a while since I wrote in my journal section of the web page... to say the least. Let's see, we've had holidays, events and all sorts of things happening since I last wrote. Now here we are at the hopefully quick end to this summer. It's been very hot here in Nashville yet I think that's sort of what's expected in the south during the summer months.

I recently told my friend and owner of the record label Johnny that I hadn't written in on the journal page in so long because I really didn't know what I wanted to write about. My health, about the same as always... no feeling in my feet, etc... but I'm still on the move. My marriage, I still have one and love the one I have. My faith, strong and still learning everyday that it's a journey. Then yesterday something happened that made me want to write something.

We went to an early church service this past Sunday and so we had a nice early lunch as we enjoy doing when we can. After lunch I noticed that we had just enough time to go to a movie that I was so excited to see. I twisted poor Doug's arm hard to get him to go with me to this "chick flick". I reasoned that since we had hope that we would go to Rome and tour Italy one day this would give us a chance to see it closely in the movie. So he surrendered and off we went with hundreds of other ladies and reluctant men to see "Eat Pray Love".

Yes the scenery was beautiful as is Julia Roberts. I kept watching the movie and asking myself the whole time; why aren't you just loving this??? It is rather worldly I suppose but at my age, I've seen a lot of the world so not much shocks me anymore. But as I was leaving the movie I just sort of felt yucky, sort of guilty. Then this morning I woke up thinking about it and realized that the movie actually made me mad.

I confess that I didn't read the book. I heard about it and knew that Oprah was wild about it. Well, I discovered several years ago that I usually don't like what Oprah likes anymore. So that actually kept me away from the book. But the movie, what harm... pretty places and people. The thing that irritated me though was that the character searches and searches for something and still never seems to find it (unless you count the gazillion dollars she's making). She finds love in the end with a really cute fellow... that was cool but expected. But I kept thinking "what did she discover"?

I went through something similar when I went through a sad divorce, blindness and losing my best friend to death. I went sort of crazy too searching. I went to watch the ball drop in Times Square, almost moved to Hollywood, got a psychic, read all sorts of self help books, meditated and chanted and still felt as empty as ever. Got happy then sad, sick then healthy. Fell in love and out and found I was still the same ole girl looking at my life asking more questions than finding answers. Then luckily one day I met my "guru" of sorts that challenged me to reacquaint myself with the faith of my youth.

I started slowly just reading that sweet old Bible I had had for years and haven't stopped since. I found that the Lord was telling me too to forgive myself. He had. I opened my heart to His plan for my life and jumped in with all my strength. Good things and sad things have come and gone since but I have discovered something. Jesus is real. He isn't a fantasy or a liar. He is my love. So maybe I will never understand the ah ha moment of "Eat Pray Love" but I understand the true joy of Surrender Obey Believe. I know that works and will for everyone who gives it a shot. We have a lot of worn out answers floating around out there these days... I don't have all the answers that's for sure, but He does.


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January 20, 2012
August 16, 2010
October 13, 2009
May 28, 2009
December 10, 2008
July 29, 2008
March 26, 2008
December 18, 2007
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March 23, 2007
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